It's impossible to explore the BDSM world without having a firm understanding of Safe, Sane and Consensual. They are the magic words that bind and set the boundaries of safe sex play. Everyone who plays this way must have/use a "safe word". One couple may decide that "Red !!!" will make everything stop... "Yellow" means "I'm getting scared. and green means give me more asshole you're not being hard enough with me. No matter... In the world of LDD it can be just the opposite and a couple that has decided to push the edge of LDD may very well decide that Safe, Sane and Consensual have no place in their bedroom. To do so requires and intense trust and complete communication.
When she is ordered over his lap she may may want to know that she does not have a way of stopping the inevitable spanking. She may very well want to know that absolutely nothing will, or can prevent or protect her from getting a her life altering bottom warming.. She may want that kick of knowing that all control is taken away.When there is such a surrender of control there is compete trust and an intensity that can not be described.
21 October 2006
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Actually, not all BDSM play scenes have agreed safewords. Pretty much all BDSM play (as opposed to abuse) involves some form of the "Safe, Sane, Consensual" (SSC)concept. But many players/couples prefer to depend on the observation of the Top to determine when things need to stop. In particular, experienced couples with long-established relationships may rely on trust and mutual knowledge, not an explicit safeword. Safewords are usually advised for inexperienced players, and for players new to each other, and some BDSM practitioners would never play without one. But that is not nearly as universally true as your comments would imply.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I didn't phrase it that way, my intention was to more to suggest that safewords are likely very rare for most DD, LDD couples.
ReplyDeleteMuch of the BDSM scene is actually moving away from SCC and toward RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), which is why long term relationships are also moving away from safe words. Rick Aware and Consensual does seem to describe a DD relationship...
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