24 May 2009

The Other Side of The Paddle

Minx at times, (perhaps not often enough) decides that she is going to try and satisfy my curiosity for submission.

Well, today was such a day.
Minx and I went out and partied a bit, and well... I've been trying to send signals that it's her turn to try and teach me what it might be like to be a submissive.

Damn that girl, she got the hint.

We came home from having a few brewskis at the club, and suddenly found ourselves with that ever so rare commodity.. Privacy.

I made some sort of offhand remark to suggest we play...
She responded with a certain... " Not me honey, you better stack the pillows on the bed so your ass can be up high..."

Well, mostly Dom that I am... Not today.
I promptly went to the bedroom and piled the pillows up high, got in position and waited. Damn theat girl didn't forget her comment and came into the bedroom.

Even worse...
She grabbed the canes. :(

It's a very strange dynamic we have, don't try this at home, your mileage will vary.

Minx has known, that her last punishment spankings have worn on me severely....
I've been concerned that I was too harsh and that I've put her through more than she could or should endure.

Well, belay that.
I told Minx that I wanted to know what I put her through... What it was like, stupid me...
She was all too willing to oblige.

My poor unsuspecting ass was propped high on a stack of pillows... "Oh, well, no matter what she has in mind it can't be too bad"


She asked and stupid me told her that I wanted to know what it was like... the last MAJOR punishment that I gave her.

Well, let me just say that while you're getting 20 canes strokes, 10 with the thuddy and 10 with the thin stingy over a stack of pillows it's not very painful when you know that you feel10 of each again in the diaper position.

Yup, she did it.
Yup, it hurt like holy hell.
Yup, I enjoyed the comfort of her aftercare like I could not have imagined.... I hope it's always that way for her.

Damn, we have to BURN those canes.

Oh, the silly girl thinks she's going to give me a dose of the powertoys later on my already sore ass....

(I hope)

23 May 2009

Punish a Spanko With a Spanking

Often people post on message boards that they are in a TIH or DD relationship and they wonder that if they are going to be true to the concept... How can a spanking be a punishment for a spanko?

Sometimes people look for alternative punishments that don’t involve spanking. There have only been a couple of non-spanking punishments that I have given Minx. One involved no CDs for her far too long ride to work, no TV and early bed-time. Well, that’s fine too if it works but there isn’t any reason why a spanking can’t be a punishment for someone who loves spankings. Even for a woman who finds spanking erotic (Minx), a punishment spanking takes on an entirely new dimension and is not anticipated with pleasure so yes, it can be viewed as potentially truly effective punishment.

Waiting for an earned punishment spanking and the knowledge that the earned spanking will be with evil implements instead of 'yummy' ones will completely change the entire dynamic. For some, sometimes corner time before a spanking might be the method but actually there is no reason why it can't be "tomorrow night" or whenever the HOH decides. Waiting also of course helps insure the punishment will not given while still angry.

Everyone does (or should) have in their collection several implements that garner the response "what was I thinking when I bought that thing". You know, the implements that she threatens to at least hide if not burn. We have our power toys and of course our cane-iac products. Our power toys can be used all the time but when they are used with "umph", proper position or long duration they become totally wicked and certainly scary.

Intensity, a truly painful spanking that will leave her "remembering" it for days every time she walks or sits, once experienced won’t be craved. This is a bit tricky because a spanking that leaves a memory for a few days can be yummy and exciting every time it’s felt. However, if the memory was of a truly unpleasant spanking the dynamic changes.

Multiple spankings can be a strong deterrent. Knowing that tomorrow morning's spanking will on a bottom that will be on a still, far too sore bottom takes away any craving value.

Aftercare should never be ignored and being able to say "It’s all over" should be the words she always hears at "first hug". However "every thing’s forgiven" the most powerful words in any kind of relationship should only be after the last spanking if multiples are assigned. Not hearing those keywords can avert any belief that the spanking was pleasant and forestall the "I think I’ll brat because I want another one of those spankings" mindset.

Position matters. OTK spankings can often be pleasant for some no matter if they are mild or severe so using different positions can help send a message. Over a chair, sofa or stack of pillows where there is no touching between spanker and spankee can add heighten awareness to the physical pain because the emotional comfort of contact is not there. Ankle grab or diaper position can insure that not only is the contact just by implement, but also that the sensations are instilled deeper and more "lasting".

Being able to spank long enough and hard enough beyond the point of what could ever be viewed as pleasant can be a difficult hurdle to cross for an HOH who really doesn’t enjoy seeing his love feel pain. Knowing that it’s what she not only really needs but also really wants are the emotional keys for an HOH to get to the level of being able to provide a truly painful and memorable spanking. Be steadfast yet be prepared to hear, "can't we not do that?" and maybe even attempts to be bribed out of it. The only response to those things is a question: "Would you be able to repsect me if I changed my mind?"

13 May 2009

Yet Another Memorable Spanking

Our BDSM Side:
Fortunately, we do not qualify as a “vanilla” couple on several levels. It may confuse some but from a BDSM or D/s aspect I can be considered a “switch”. I have, and will happily again climb over her knee for a dreaded yet exciting taste of my own medicine. If she came home today and decided to put on heels and the garter belt, heaven only knows what sort of play might follow. In spite of my kinky curiosity as to what it would be like to be submissive I am without a doubt more Dom than sub, yet suppress that as much as possible so that she won't hesitate to reach for the heels and cuffs. The possibilities are much more exciting than Topping from the bottom, or is it bottoming from the Top or... being in the middle from the side... Oh it's all so confusing. Unfortunately D/s play doesn't happen enough for each of our liking as privacy is always an issue.

Our LDD Side:
Irregardless of our desire for there to be a mutual aspect of DD, there is no doubt that my role is HOH. Perhaps it's hard for some to understand but it's what Minx and I want and what we will someday have on a real full time level. Right now it's like the days before we were together as a couple, so infrequent that it's like having a long distance spanker/spankee relationship trying to keep up with any issues that have come up since the last time we were able to get together. The result is occasions DO present themselves for true punishment spankings certainly much more frequently than they would if we were able to devote 100% to our chosen lifestyle. If privacy weren't such an issue and discipline and maintenance spankings were more frequent I'm sure punishment spankings would be few and far between. Someday I'm sure, hopefully sooner than later maintenance and proper discipline can be more frequent and more consistent.

The Latest:
Minx hasn't written much about it, I don't think she likes to remember it right now since the “memory” has only now finally faded but she managed to earn the most painful punishment that I've ever had to give her. She has never had very many rules however the standing guideline is that I will hold her responsible for matters of Attitude, Respect and Responsibility. It was obvious that she had been disrespectful to me in multiple ways but even worse the things she said were very hurtful and could easily endanger our relationship. I was very angry about what she did and she knew it. It was difficult deciding what her punishment would be, it had to be very severe... I knew it and she knew it too. It was two days before I finally punished her, there is no way I could have punished her right away even if the opportunity (privacy) had presented itself, I was just too angry. I decided that her punishment was going to be the most severe she's ever had.

Minx hates the cane. The cane has absolutly no “yummy” aspect for her, at this time she just clearly fears the cane. Naturally, that leaves it as a required implement for any needed punishment. (photo and product from Cane-Iac) Up till now the times I've used the cane on Minx's bottom the strokes have been pretty mild in the sense that our canes are not full length and I've not used a full stroke. She has been marked with mild light welts but the welts have usually faded pretty quick. Not this time.

I decided that Minx's punishment would be three sessions. The first would be a severe caning, 20 with the thin cane and 20 with the thick cane. For the first 20 (10 with each) I had her climb on a stack of pillows, this time I didn't hold back with the strokes and in spite of the relatively short 26” length the canes landing on her bottom immediately brought tears. This was far more severe than she's ever experienced before, but we only half way there. This is about as far as she was able to write about on her blog.

I knew that she had to remember this punishment for a long time, I didn't want to continue but I knew that I had to and I was not going to reverse my decision, she was getting the last 20 and they would be even more painful in the diaper position.

I knew, (Minx knew too) that the last 20 in the diaper position would set the pain deep into her muscles and it would stay and be unrelenting for days. When I was done Minx has a butt full of nasty raised welts and it hurt me to know that for as scorched as her bottom looked on the outside the pain was well set in and she would certainly be feeling it for days. Well not really, what was coming the following evening would be far more memorable.

We've joked back and forth a few times about Minx having “Bunns of Steel”. She seldom marks and the pain from even a punishment spanking rarely lingers for more than at most a day. That was now changing.

We've both watched numerous videos on spankingtube.com and laughed and wondered if anyone ever actually spanks really hard or really long or maybe it's just us. Minx's mildest spankings are far more severe when compared to those on the videos we've seen. There are a couple of professionals like Danna Specht who appear to put some real heart (and heat) into it, but by and large most of the spankings just look wimpy.

When Minx climbed over my lap I don't think she knew just how severe she was going to be paddled. What I've done in the past while paddling her is interjected some real give it my all “full force” swings for “GET BACK IN PLACE” value and such. This time almost ever single swing was full force and she literally had the “You won't sit comfortable for a week!” spanking. When it was all over I gave her the option of taking the second severe spanking right away, another one just like she just had. She wanted me to decide so I told her I wanted her to to be spanked again now and get it over with. She agreed and back over my knee she went for some more full force from the bathbrush, the stinger and the hairbrush paddle.

Actually I was shaken by the severity of the spanking I gave her, it wasn't easy to do and I hope I never have to spank her so hard and so long again. I love her so much.

Alas, hardly a week later and Minx has earned another. No, it doesn't have to be the same severity, but it will be once again... memorable.