How My Kinky History Led to My Spanking Desires

Early in the days when I began my blog about three years ago, I posted my history and how I initially became interested in adult spanking. I wasn’t comfortable leaving all of the ‘dirty detail’ information on the blog at the time. I believed that my ‘kinky’ background might have been too much of a distraction from what was becoming my all-encompassing interest in domestic discipline. I didn’t want it distracting from my sincere desire to pursue a DD lifestyle and to promote the benefits. Basically, I didn’t want anyone thinking that just because I’m a kinky bastard I thought up some plan to legitimize my beliefs.

Backpedal a few decades and my journey into the world of kink and fetish was probably seeded in my experience growing up in the 50s and 60s. Not unlike many of those times, as a child I would often find myself face being held to the cold black and yellow bathroom tile floor with my ass propped high in the air. Natually, while my ass was being filled with warm soapy water. Squirming and fighting just got me the extra discomfort and humiliation as my bare ass was spanked for squirming.

No, it was not and should not be considered abuse. That doesn’t mean that I condone young boys being given enemas and spanked on the bare ass by their MILF mothers today, times have changed.

However during the 50s and 60s it was very common for mothers to give their little boys (or girls) an enema for many reasons. Everything from tummy-ache to being moody qualified for, if not required a physic. “Oh, Myrtle… If that’s the way he’s acting you better give him an enema. Everyone does need one now and again so it certainly can’t hurt”.

One thing for sure in those days, whenever you claimed in the morning that you were too sick to go to school you could count on getting a good inner ass cleaning with lots of warm water and ivory soap. The other possible outcome was a visit from the doctor and then you would likely get a nice sore bump in the buttocks from the doctors oversized penicillin injection. Doctors weren’t afraid of overusing antibiotics in those days you know. Worse case which was more likely, you would get a warm soapy enema and then the doctor would come to the house (they did that in those days) and still give you a painful injection in your poor overworked butt. It’s just the way things were done in those days.

Of course then I had to play and experiment on my own in those days, and actually often did. Yes, I’ll admit it; Mr. Happy and his needs became a big part of the action. You see men have a prostate and often any form of anal stimulation gives a little boost to… well you know.

Well I think I’ve explained it to a degree, the inner desire of being dominated and forced to take an enema by a woman was always in the back of my mind. Whenever I felt comfortable enough to mention it with a potential partner, the usual response was that the idea was at least distasteful if not "Oh, that's disgusting". Besindes, it's not something that's easy to bring up, it’s just not one of those things that you can use to start a conversation. In fact he topic usually ended conversation not being the sort of thing you should mention to people you meet in a convenience store or at the typical church social. Hence my reluctance to be open about it and also why I pulled the information from my blog.

Fast forward a few decades from my childhood, I had spent 20 years married to a woman who at first claimed to want to experiment with things of kink to add some spice. That turned out to be nothing more than a lie. My hopes of ever being open and active with her with that part of my persona were dashed by comments like "I don't know how people could do that..." whenever I hinted at things.

Ok, so why did I crave having a woman give me enemas? Particularly I craved being told I was getting an enema if I wanted it or not. In fact especially if I didn’t want one. It just didn't make sense since I had been told by people that claim to know these things that I was an obvious Dominant. Well, it could be that I can ‘Switch’ and just might enjoy every aspect of such a potential D/s experience. After being separated, I made up my mind that I would never again settle for anyone who wasn’t willing to explore whatever mutual fantasies we had without being judgmental. The obvious conclusion was that my childhood memories had awakened my aparent need to be a submissive.

Several girlfriends later, one night I was talking on the phone with the latest potential victim of my need for sexual relief. The thing was, I was doing laundry. You see at that time I was Mr. Mom and doing laundry was just one of those chores that I had a tendency to put off. The incentive that I gave myself to do laundry was simple; I would permit myself a martini per load of wash. After several loads of wash it was not uncommon for me to wake up and wonder what happened to my clothes. Not an uncommon side effect of martini consumption I understand, but I digress.

Well, feeling loose tongued and not really giving a shit if I scared her off… I dropped the big one and told her that I had always had a kinky interest in being given enemas. I fully expected to hear a click on the other end of the phone line. Nope, she told me it was one of her favorite activities. Actually I should have known, she’s an RN and there’s no doubt about it, RNs are kinky. Let the games begin!

The RN adventure was certainly interesting, neither one of us were really sure if we were Dom, sub or Switch so we played every which way we could trying to find out with "Screw the Roses, Bring Me The Thorns". One of the other activities that we explored was spanking. That’s when I found out that I really do enjoy having a woman laying over my lap getting a good sound spanking. That was also when I found out that I don’t enjoy getting a spanking quite as much as I enjoying giving one. There’s that certain aspect about getting a spanking that always comes up just after going over a knee. When the first fews smacks land then all of a sudden the brain feels the sting, instantly you wonder why you ever thought you enjoyed being spanked.

Once I had this new adult spanking experience it became all I could think of and I wanted more. Naturally I started searching the Internet for as much spanking information as I could find. When I found ‘Fondly and Firmly” I had an epiphany. Immediately I realized that the reason my marriage had failed was because I never gave X the thing that she needed most, a good spanking.

Having discovered the world of Domestic Discipline I joined a few groups and forums and before long I was IMing with a woman who lived a few states away who had the same sort of desires. We spent hours on the phone and became pretty close and shared our thoughts on how Domestic Discipline could or should work. Just as with the RN she shared a kinky enema thing so naturally conversation became even easier for us. With her help I decided to put my DD thoughts to the Internet and created my “How to Tell Your Thick Headed Hubby” blog post. She was an accomplished blogger at the time and encouraged me. Since, she has had some very difficult times and her blog is long gone.

The primary direction for the essay was ‘for a guy, from a guy’ since it appeared from many of the DD and general spanking forum posts that I read, women found it difficult to vocalize to their boyfriends or husbands just what it was that they wanted.

My blog post began to get some attention and it wasn’t long before I received a few comments from women who said that they printed out my “Thick Headed Hubby” essay and it made it easier to convince their husbands just what they really wanted and needed.

There it is!

That's how I began blogging about Domestic Discipline. Naturally several days ago when Minx spanked me and then slipped a Fleet enema into my ass, I began thinking about all of these things again and I decided to get over it, and re-post my background for my readers to know.

“There, now you’ll be able to enjoy your sore bottom on a nice hard seat for a while”

Being the typical non-typical DD couple things can get interesting around here sometimes. Of course we have the same problem that a lot of couples have, an almost perpetual lack of privacy. We might have changed that slightly, time will tell…

Today was the first day of a new schedule where I think I’ve managed to get things coordinated so that we actually have at least an hour and perhaps as much as two hours or privacy per day.

Well, we did have some privacy over the weekend and it did give me the chance to give Minx a pretty good spanking. She has needed a spanking for a while. Not so much for anything other than stress relief and just to reinforcing discipline a bit, she has been very good.

Minx also had the chance to try to spank me, but that didn’t go too well being the wimp that I am. I chickened out part way into it and got away from her which of course pissed her off a bit. It’s not easy for Minx to spank me; it’s just not her thing. Minx is much more comfortable being the spankee but she does try to cater to my cravings on occasion and if the need should happen to arrive, she has no problem at all giving me a punishment spanking. However, when I need a stress relief spanking, it’s not at all easy for her. There’s that role reversal thing, but also I’m much harder to hold in position when I start squirming and kicking as happened over the weekend.

Well, today our private time came to fruition and I had every intention to rebuild Minx’s leather butt. Since it’s been a while since she’s had regular spankings the spanking she got over the weekend was difficult for her re-virigned bottom. Being the caring HOH that I am, I planned on putting some regularity back into her spankings so it would be easier for her to take a good long spanking. You spankos out there know what I mean, if it’s been a while, it takes a while before you build up ‘leather butt’ tolerance again. Well, that was not to be.

I walked into the house and asked her if she was ready to get her leather butt rebuilt… however she said, “No, it’s your turn”.

Well, I hadn’t been too cooperative when she tried to spank me over the weekend so I suppose I knew it was coming so of course I complied. Minx told me to go pick out some implements…. Don’t you hate that?

I opened the toy drawer and looked, I knew that I would not be able to get away with a wimpy selection so I didn't try. I picked out the wicked hairbrush paddle, the sawed off bamboo bath brush, the Reb's OTK paddle with holes and the The London Tanners Domestic Discipline Strap. Minx approved, I knew I didn’t have much of a choice but to pick the ones that I hate since I hadn’t been cooperative for the last spanking.

Minx gave the quick simple order… “Drop ‘em”. I did.

There’s something that’s both intimidating and exciting about standing there with your pants at your ankle while your lady is picking up a paddle. Naturally, Mr. Happy was doing his best to embarrass me standing at full attention which of course Minx made some comments along the lines of ‘looks like he wants a spanking too’ and made some light contact.

When I first climbed over her knee, Mr. Happy was making things a little uncomfortable before he was properly positioned. Minx started with her bare hand, which felt, very comfortable and relaxing. Of course her bare hand didn’t last long enough, the sting had been light and actually somewhat comforting. Mr, Happy didn't stay around to find out though.

When I’m on the receiving end once the spanking starts I usually can’t tell what I’m being spanked with unless she tells me. She did a very good job of keeping me just slightly beyond the edge of what I can tolerate. You know, any lighter and you can take it, but just hard enough to keep you from ignoring it while you squirm and stress and have to work at staying in place. Then of course it had to happen, time to pay for not cooperating for the last spanking. Those hard heavy spanks that make you dig your fingernails into your palms and stress to stay in place.

I believe that the next round was from the Rebs OTK paddle and she kept me right on the edge with it. Then a few rounds with the DD strap and and paddles again. It was really getting hard to stay in place but I didn't want any more hard heavy full swing ones.

In between rounds of implements Minx rubs and comforts for a few seconds (always too few) which of course is wonderful. Then after a particularly hard to take round with what I think was the Bamboo Bath Brush she was rubbing my bottom and next I felt her spread my cheeks. I felt something slide into my ass and I realized what she was doing, Minx was giving me a Fleet enema.

“There, now you’ll be able to enjoy your sore bottom on a nice hard seat for a while”

She said it with a little bit of a happy accomplished tone. That wasn’t the end of it of course, but it was the end of the unbearable pain from that point on as I had another thing to keep my mind occupied. The combination of the spanking that so far I had endured along with that bit of anal stimulation and caress just made the sting disapear and all of me was enjoying the continued contact.

Minx continued to spank and she spanked hard but from that point on ,I just wanted more. She asked me a couple of times if I had to go yet, I could have but I didn't want to, I wanted to feel more and put off going to expell as long as I could.

Odd isn't it.

Now, I’m probably more relaxed than I’ve been in a while, maybe tomorrow will be her turn.

The Spanking Party - Party

Pammie on her blog made an interesting analysis of the political ramifications of spankos in the United States crossing the political spectrum.

She envisioned that with Blue State spankos, the spanker wears leather pants and a studded tool belts while the spankees wear revealing corsets and thongs or no panties. When talking about red state spankos she sees tight collars and wash pants (I don’t know what wash pants are) and the red state spankee in white cotton panties (or not) and big cotton dresses. Pammie wrote “But they both enjoy it...really... although secretly.”

Well, I hate tight collars and as a genuine card-carrying member of the vast right wing conspiracy I'm wondering if I should feel offended by the suggestion that I pretend to not enjoy spanking.

I do thoroughly enjoy spanking from both sides of the paddle and it has no bearing on my libertarian leanings. Minx is by many measures a bleeding heart liberal and almost always pulls the wrong lever in the voting booth.

Perhaps that makes us some sort of hybrid spanko couple.

Wait a minute, I must admit I don’t really enjoy spanking when it’s time for my butt to be pointed in the air. That’s usually when my mind races to “What the hell was I thinking when I thought I enjoyed spanking!” I should also admit that just maybe we enjoy it secretly since we tend to avoid discussing it with neighbors or people we meet at the convenience store...

Oh well.

However, It has been apparent for quite some time that our two party political system in the United States leaves a lot to be desired.

Perhaps it’s time for a strong third party…

A party of spankos!

I can see it now, we would call our national convention...

“The Spanking Party-Party”.

Hell, according to the quoted research by the respected scientists at Manswers 41% of the population would show up and vote with us. With undecided voters and independent crossover (switches) and conquest votes we would easily take over the White House, Senate and House in short order.

Imagine that, a Spanking Party in the White House. The possibilities are certainly thought provoking. Perhpas the party would have seperate splinter fringe elements... The Belts, The Leathers, The Woods and The Canes.

I suppose in some respect this is all too confusing and can't be solved in the blog world alone, yet certainly deserves more study. Perhaps a federal grant to fund some research would be in order. I’m calling my Senators… we need this in the Health Bill.

Spankos at Manswers?

Dante has this video on his blog today. I couldn't get it to play without the background music so here's a copy:

Does Spanking Lead to Horniness? | SpikeTV | SPIKE.com

Of particular note is the percentage of spankos in America. Wow, double the rest of the world at 41%. Apparently the other 59% of Americans don't have sex. Still 41% is a good chunk of the population IMHO. Maybe it's because we grew up not only watching The Lucy Show but also we all have the DVD of the Duke dealing with Maureen O'Hara's attitude.

This isn't the first spanking "answer" at Mansers, here's another one just in case you need some help working on an addiction.

Wicked Videos, Latest Virals | | SPIKE.com

What a Weekend

Minx and I have known each other for about 3 years and have been together for more than a year now, in fact over 1 1/2 years if you count those things with vigor. For anyone who doesn't know... we've been more than just an item. Minx and I have been through some tough times together, tough times certainly test the temper of a relationship and ours has remained steadfast and perhaps only stronger.

Somehow, we still are in love.

No, not just the I'm a spanko and I found a like minded spanko so we'll give it a go kind of love... But, real love. Don't ask me why but on many levels it just plain looks like we were made for one another. It's just plain a good fit. Well, if you don't know it's a bit of an age mismatch, I'm a few years older than Minx. Well, maybe a bit more than a few... let's just say that since boys tend to mature slower than girls do, we found the intersection on that particular graph and we'll leave it at that.

This past weekend we found it necessary to make a several hundred mile jaunt to see relatives. There had been a death in the family and it's one of those times when relatives can't be avoided. Now for the uninitiated, let me tell you relatives can be the true litmus test of a relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I do not only appreciate Minx's relatives, I think I actually love them as much as that is possible. In fact it's not that they don't really seem to care that Moi... This dirty old man who spanks their daughter's ass red raw has entered their sweet little girl's life but they actually appear (at times) to be grateful. Sure, I've tainted her and soiled her otherwise pure heart and taken her to the far reaches of sexual extremes... Well, actually maybe she's done that to me. Yet, they still tolerate my being. Well, at least none of them attempted to murder me in my sleep, yet.

I'm a dog guy, always have been... always will be. I dunno, there's just something about dogs. We just connect, I understand dogs... their baser wants and needs. They at times only care about the man that will vigorously rub their breast bones (the same sensation they feel when they are humping) and rub behind their ears. It's kind of dog equivalent of being a man who can find a woman's 'g' spot. Well, in any event... usually after five minutes any dog I encounter becomes my life long friend... Except Minx's dog but that's only because he thinks he's a cat.

Couple of years ago I dated a lady who had a health guide dog. Whenever she was close to going into a pain seizure the dog would sense it and move or position her to a spot where she could be safe until the seizure was over. The dog was a VERY large German Shepherd and was VERY capable of protecting her... Well, not all the time. After first meeting them for a few minutes and saying hello to 'protection dog' I proceeded to spank her bottom raw and 'protection dog' didn't really seem to give a shit except for the fact that while I was spanking her, I wasn't paying attention to him. But I digress.

Being a dog guy somehow equates to being an 'a-oh-kay' guy as far as Minx's mother is concerned and that is the point that I've been trying to get at through this whole typing session.

When the weekend began we were outside and a (nosey) neighbor came by... I was introduced by Minx's mom as Minx's boyfriend. Before the weekend was halfway over my status changed, I became her 'son-in-law'. I liked it very much. By default Minx's mom declared me as being Minx's husband and that's a good thing. I'm sure it's only because I was well liked by the three dogs that were running around. Yeah, they're dog people.

(ex) Virgin Bottom and Birthday Boy

Things have been getting really tough lately and there hasn't been a lot of spanking around here and now is probably when we need it most. One of the few times that we've had some privacy, I was sick. Minx hasn't even been doing much reading of blogs let alone writing them and our stress levels have been hitting the roof.

I've been laid off for about four months now and unemployment compensation just doesn't cut it. We did have hopes of attending the fall SCONY get together since it's very close drive to us, however that certainly won't be happening. Neither Minx nor I have every been to a group gathering before and we were really looking forward to it. Imagine not having to be concerned with privacy!

Making matters worse Minx lost here job and lets just say that we are eating a lot more rice and ramen noodles. We haven't been able to pay the rent and apparently the landlord does not have enough of a sense of humor. Now we will be spending our last dollars to go see some relatives, short story... there has been a death in the family.

Finally the other night we did manage to get a spanking in, Minx was complaining that her buns of steel have atrophied and her bottom was virtually virgin. Not any more it's not, I gave some serious attention to her bottom that she still felt the next day.

Hopefully we can get some more spanking in. We've found that spanking for stress relief really does work, at least for a little while. Doesn't make the stress go away but it makes you forget about it for a while at least.

So, hopefully there will be some more spanking in our near future. Probably me soon too, just had a birthday (yeah, I'm a Leo) and there has been the threat of a birthday spanking for me that has yet to come to fruition.

I never heard of a birthday spanking until I got into TTWD. I dunno, guess all the people I hung around with either didn't ever do it or kept it to themselves. Now some questions, maybe someone knows...

Just what is appropriate for a birthday spanking?
Shouldn't it be a spank for every year?
Shouldn't it be sort of a ceremonious light smack sort of thing over clothes?

I would have thought that a quick light spank for every year but apparently I'm wrong. Minx who claims to know these things says that I'll have to be harshly bare bottom paddled, a solid minute for every year.

Gulp!

Well, in my case that's too damn close to an hour!

Shut Up and Spank

I was just reading a post at Finding Sara about the issue of Consensual Non-consent. It’s one of those things that apparently many of us who practice a form of DD have decided on. Basically, the short version for us, is Minx has consented to be spanked whenever and however I feel she deserves it, and she can not refuse the spanking. With where we are now it’s a two way street. I too will accept a spanking from Minx if she feels I need it and here is the tricky part, there is no safe word. Sara did a very good job of describing the circumstances so I won’t rehash it in detail but there have been times when we’ve had to put DD on hold while we decided if this is really what we wanted. Just yesterday it looked like one of those times was upon us.

It wasn't during a punishment spanking since Minx has been very good lately. It was just your every day run of the mill kind of a combination stress relief and reinforce discipline spanking. The spanking wasn't very hard but it was rather long as that sometimes helps Minx get to a release, maybe a little bit of DD’ish subspace. I was sitting in a folding chair and Minx's was OTK and all the way down with her butt presented perfectly... If it had been punishment with faster and harder strokes the position would have certainly have left an "impression"... but it wasn't. Suddenly she yelled out "Stop torturing me!"

It's been awhile, so my first reaction was that we must be at one of those consent quandaries. Well of course I stopped right away, stood her up and we talked... It seems what was bothering her wasn't the paddle, but my questions! She wanted me to just shut the hell up and spank.

First time THAT has happened

The Other Side of The Paddle

Minx at times, (perhaps not often enough) decides that she is going to try and satisfy my curiosity for submission.

Well, today was such a day.
Minx and I went out and partied a bit, and well... I've been trying to send signals that it's her turn to try and teach me what it might be like to be a submissive.

Damn that girl, she got the hint.

We came home from having a few brewskis at the club, and suddenly found ourselves with that ever so rare commodity.. Privacy.

I made some sort of offhand remark to suggest we play...
She responded with a certain... " Not me honey, you better stack the pillows on the bed so your ass can be up high..."

Well, mostly Dom that I am... Not today.
I promptly went to the bedroom and piled the pillows up high, got in position and waited. Damn theat girl didn't forget her comment and came into the bedroom.

Even worse...
She grabbed the canes. :(

It's a very strange dynamic we have, don't try this at home, your mileage will vary.

Minx has known, that her last punishment spankings have worn on me severely....
I've been concerned that I was too harsh and that I've put her through more than she could or should endure.

Well, belay that.
I told Minx that I wanted to know what I put her through... What it was like, stupid me...
She was all too willing to oblige.

My poor unsuspecting ass was propped high on a stack of pillows... "Oh, well, no matter what she has in mind it can't be too bad"

WRONG

She asked and stupid me told her that I wanted to know what it was like... the last MAJOR punishment that I gave her.

Well, let me just say that while you're getting 20 canes strokes, 10 with the thuddy and 10 with the thin stingy over a stack of pillows it's not very painful when you know that you feel10 of each again in the diaper position.

Yup, she did it.
Yup, it hurt like holy hell.
Yup, I enjoyed the comfort of her aftercare like I could not have imagined.... I hope it's always that way for her.

Damn, we have to BURN those canes.

Oh, the silly girl thinks she's going to give me a dose of the powertoys later on my already sore ass....

WRONG !!!
(I hope)

Punish a Spanko With a Spanking

Often people post on message boards that they are in a TIH or DD relationship and they wonder that if they are going to be true to the concept... How can a spanking be a punishment for a spanko?

Sometimes people look for alternative punishments that don’t involve spanking. There have only been a couple of non-spanking punishments that I have given Minx. One involved no CDs for her far too long ride to work, no TV and early bed-time. Well, that’s fine too if it works but there isn’t any reason why a spanking can’t be a punishment for someone who loves spankings. Even for a woman who finds spanking erotic (Minx), a punishment spanking takes on an entirely new dimension and is not anticipated with pleasure so yes, it can be viewed as potentially truly effective punishment.

Waiting for an earned punishment spanking and the knowledge that the earned spanking will be with evil implements instead of 'yummy' ones will completely change the entire dynamic. For some, sometimes corner time before a spanking might be the method but actually there is no reason why it can't be "tomorrow night" or whenever the HOH decides. Waiting also of course helps insure the punishment will not given while still angry.

Everyone does (or should) have in their collection several implements that garner the response "what was I thinking when I bought that thing". You know, the implements that she threatens to at least hide if not burn. We have our power toys and of course our cane-iac products. Our power toys can be used all the time but when they are used with "umph", proper position or long duration they become totally wicked and certainly scary.

Intensity, a truly painful spanking that will leave her "remembering" it for days every time she walks or sits, once experienced won’t be craved. This is a bit tricky because a spanking that leaves a memory for a few days can be yummy and exciting every time it’s felt. However, if the memory was of a truly unpleasant spanking the dynamic changes.

Multiple spankings can be a strong deterrent. Knowing that tomorrow morning's spanking will on a bottom that will be on a still, far too sore bottom takes away any craving value.

Aftercare should never be ignored and being able to say "It’s all over" should be the words she always hears at "first hug". However "every thing’s forgiven" the most powerful words in any kind of relationship should only be after the last spanking if multiples are assigned. Not hearing those keywords can avert any belief that the spanking was pleasant and forestall the "I think I’ll brat because I want another one of those spankings" mindset.

Position matters. OTK spankings can often be pleasant for some no matter if they are mild or severe so using different positions can help send a message. Over a chair, sofa or stack of pillows where there is no touching between spanker and spankee can add heighten awareness to the physical pain because the emotional comfort of contact is not there. Ankle grab or diaper position can insure that not only is the contact just by implement, but also that the sensations are instilled deeper and more "lasting".

Being able to spank long enough and hard enough beyond the point of what could ever be viewed as pleasant can be a difficult hurdle to cross for an HOH who really doesn’t enjoy seeing his love feel pain. Knowing that it’s what she not only really needs but also really wants are the emotional keys for an HOH to get to the level of being able to provide a truly painful and memorable spanking. Be steadfast yet be prepared to hear, "can't we not do that?" and maybe even attempts to be bribed out of it. The only response to those things is a question: "Would you be able to repsect me if I changed my mind?"

Cane Pain v2.0

I think that since the cane is extreme, it's also very fast with it's result. Expeditious yes, in that it takes a yet to be punished bottom and goes from zero to major ouch quite quickly, it left her still needing more. So, More cane pain for Minx came last night. She thought it was needed too, so rattan met already tender bottom again with a promise of a paddling this morning. The only time we can get a spanking in, is very early morning when all the urchins are asleep. Since she has to leave so early it makes it virtually impossible for complete aftercare so it's not a prefered method. She thought about not waking me up, but she knew she needed it.

There's also no doubt that when a paddle lands on an already tender bottom the intensity is multiplied. Minx's reaction was strong even when I first started with just my bare hand now that I think about it. Usually Minx can take quite a bit of spanking of ever increasing intensity, before her legs start kicking but this morning her legs were running the three minute mile almost from the first swat.

All is now forgiven and never needs to be talked about again, I believe things are again all well, she is my Good Girl.

Stress Relief

Well I've joined the ranks of the unemployed (again).

I spent most of last week mopeing around in a fog, with all the things going through my head that pre-occupy too many of our brains today... How will we make ends meet? How will ever get ahead? When will they decide to repo the vehicle? How can survive?

So Stress in bucket loads...

Minx had enough of it by Saturday and yup you guessed it...

I got a spanking, a BIG spanking. Damn I should never have tought that girl how to hold the paddle.

Well I think it worked, cleared the head a bit.

Life will go on and somehow we will prevail.

Memorable Spanking

One thing that has become too obvious lately is that I've not been able to spank Minx the way she needs to be spanked. There are lots of reasons but the most common reason is the lack of privacy and with work schedules how seldom we see one another.



However, what has happened over recent months is her spanking sessions have gotten harsh with more intense implements, but too quick.

In retrospect it's obvious that I've been having a hard time spanking Minx effectively. Somehow I love her more every day and that makes it harder to truly spank painfully for an extended period. The point being, that is exactly opposite of what she needs.



She hasn't been getting corner time intermissions just OTK or pillows till done. She hasn't been getting the A.A.A.C. (Avoid At All Costs) Spanking when she deserves it. Well, that changed, she told me and she got the good spanking she needed. There was corner time and prolonged sessions with some of our more "memory making" implements and she was sore for several days.


I truely have to work on knowing that she needs more.

Reminder spanking would have been good this weekend but it just wasn't in the cards.

Mutual DD, Tough Times, Tempers, Plastic Strops and Sore Cheeks

If you are talking about Doms and subs, well they might not fully understand the sort of peculiar relationship that exists when you are both Dom and sub. How can it be? Well, just be in love with someone who you’ve decided to not only be held accountable to… but also some who you’ve agreed to hold accountable.

Yes folks, a mutual domestic discipline relationship is very unique, and I’ve found it to be very special.

Me?
Well, I know better. However call it a scream for attention… Call it just plain stupid… This past week I did the unforgiveable. I drove drunk. As ususal, I made it home without problem Being able to drive in such a condition is not a blessing but a curse, that ultimately allows one to believe that they can always do it without problems… an impossible thing to do forever.

I talked to Minx from the bar, she guessed I was probably there. What she didn’t know was that I was knocking back shots with my beers… all of course on an empty stomach as I had not eaten all day. She had no idea just how wasted I was till I got home and was literally falling down. I text messaged her, (no excuse) that I was being naughty. I expected her to come get me. She did not... for one very good reason, her phone (and we verified this) never got the sent messages.

That’s been the way it’s been for us lately, we’ve had very odd and some very tough times some we've caused ourselves but most we've just been stuck in the middle of. In a nutshell... We are expecting to be evicted any day… or powerless,… or phoneless… or heatless… as we continue to dance around the bills that we can barely sometimes pay. Stress is high... no unbearable for both of us, and neither of us could deal with all of this without the other... tempers run on sharp edges… and we often need to grab each other by the earlobe and drag each other for a well deserved spanking but can’t even do that because we never seem to have privacy.

Well, come to the rescue… a friend. One special lady who knows our situation (who I used to mentor) let us use her house for a few hours today. Minx took full advantage and my poor ass is burning.

Thanks again to that special lady who managed to leave on her dresser (for Minx’s use) the wicked plastic prison strap. For those that may want to know… It works all too well.

Had to Happen

Minx, the love of my life has not been feeling well for too long now. Well, part of it has been that she has been a bit under the weather, and part of it has been that she has known that she has earned a serious discipline session. One that even if she could get out of, never would consider doing.

It all started a week ago when there was the need for what should have been a quick simple spanking. Well, attitudes and timing were all wrong, the spanking did not go well and of course much of it was my fault as I do believe that it is the HOH's responsibility to make sure that the punishment is appropriate, timely and certain. However, her response to the needed spanking was somewhat disrespectful to say the least and we all know that has to be intollerable.

There were certain aspects of the spanking that Minx earned last week that were less than certain... However...She questioned the discipline... that can't happen. She resisted the discipline... again, that can't happen. However more seriously, she failed to properly submit and some of the things that happened actually would of, or could have... endangerd our relationship if one or both of us were less resiliant than we are.

The end result was that Minx just received what was perhaps the most severe, the most painful and the most long lasting spanking that she's ever had. It hurt me terribly to spank her so severly. I never want to have to giver her such a severe spanking again but I will NEVER hesitate to do so when it is the proper thing to do.

Could Submission Help Foster Feminine?

Privacy is such a rare thing for Minx and I right now. So, when we have it, we must use it even if the time may not be right emotion wise to address certain needs in a proper manner. However, we use what time we can in what ever way we can.

The other night Minx and I lay in bed and I rolled her over bottom up and gave her a warm bottom with hand and one of the light hairbrushes. It wasn't a spanking for a specific reason, nor was it very severe. Somehow I just thought it was needed. Her first reaction was "Do you feel better now?" referring to my obvious (biological response to having secured her submission for a spanking) pleasure while I spanked her. In response to her question I handed her the hairbrush rolled over and gave her the opportunity to have revenge which she too merrily indulged in.

When done I asked her "Do you feel better now?". She thought about it for a few seconds and completely ignored the fact that I gave her the opportunity to spank me and responded that it had been a while since she had a chance to feel submissive and feminine.

Tonight I came home and found Minx asleep on the sofa with the TV on... Butt in the air... Well you know what I did! Yeah, she jumped up and quickly sat up protecting her bottom from further immediate attention. Later I came over and gave her bottom more attention and remarked how we now had a Kodak moment candidate for the "Spanking Classics Red Butt of the Year" Award.

Actually, I believe she was again happy to have submitted for no other reason than to know that having submitted to my will that she be spanked made her feel more feminine.

What think yee?

Broken Cane

I’m about to tell some things about Minx and I that neither her nor I have ever discussed or "blogged" about before in any sort of detail.

Anyone who has read our blogs knows how I won't hesitate to spank her poor bottom raw...
Well, she just might very well...
No, ah shit...
She WILL be returning the favor.

Now those of you who may have read some on the things here, or particularly on my Yahoo 360 know that I am not your typical eyeryday found on any street corner Dom-ish Disciplinarian. If you know anything about me you’ll know that my first sparks into non-vanilla-ism was based on some deep seeded need to be submissive. Butt, then there were complications.

Well, like an experienced subbie friend who when I told her that I thought I had some dom-ish tendencies told me that she could tell I was a natural Dom but she knew I had to find that out for myself. Although my whole approach to LDD has been keeping it as far from BDSM as possible there are of course those other times when minds drift to the D/S aspects for any sort of play.

Well all of this gets so complicated and confusing sometimes…

There are times when I know that the label of switch suites me best. In any event Minx has known this about me from the start, or actually before the start and one of the first things that came up when we became an item was that perhaps a "Spencer" thing might work really well for us (at her suggestion). No, not that she has ever had any Fem-Dom desires but she does have a basic desire to give me whatever I might want or need.

Uh… is that bottoming from the Top or subbing from the side…
well…
who knows…
It doesn’t really matter in the long run…

Butt…

I resisted.

In hindsight not because I didn’t know that she was probably right but because I’ve spent an hour or two Googling "Spencer Plan" and have come to the conclusion that there is little if any evidence of it being any more than an urban legend. Some sort of well organized hoax story… great idea that it may be.
My resistance with time has worn away by my inner desire at times to be on the wrong end of the paddle, and to find ways to be closer to her.
.
Fast forward to a week or three ago…

On one of those rare occasions I found myself face down into the bedcovers with my butt propped high… Minx sitting on my back to hold me down and spanking the living daylights out of my poor ass. Yeah, despite underlying curiosities and all I don’t submit very well. Now… here’s the thing. Minx got VERY wet and I got very excited (read hard) about the whole idea.

So…
I told Minx that I was wrong to brush off her long ago suggestion and told her that yes, it might just be the perfect thing for the two of us.

Well, that of course means that at some point I have to get the same sort of AAAC (Avoid At All Cost) spanking that she has become very familiar with. Hard as it may be she has done her best to give me that spanking (Apparently I need to be restrained for such a thing). On the couple of occasions that she has tried to get us going on that track… I’ve resisted and Dom-ed my way out of those spankings.

The really scary part for me is that she has learned (first-hand) from our toy collection what really, really hurts. Oh yeah, she knows how to use them all including the old broken cane. Perhaps she needs to scold me into submitting without restraint. She did get me over some pillows and managed to land about nine really memorable strokes with the old (broken 6" short) cane. It was that last stroke, she was more adept with each one… Stroke number nine was extrememly painful and left my ass with a sore sport that lasted for about five days.

The whole experience brought to mind one of Minx's better quotes: "What the hell was I thinking when I decided on this whole spanking thing… I need a new hobby." (Scarlet Minx, 2008)

One of the unique aspects is that the whole time I may be thinking that a spanking may be enroute to my ass... I still have to be there holding Minx accountable... the double edged paddle of a Spencer-ish relationship.

I know how hard it is for Minx to even try (in spite of our recent discovery about it’s ability to get her wet).
Uh-Oh, did I somehow uncover a closet FemDom? We do have very little free and private time together, however I know the sooner or later the inevitable will certainly arrive upon my poor cheeks.

Thank you God for the gift of letting me have this woman in my life… I love her so much!

Minx my sweetie...

I LOVE YOU!

Lots of Sting

Well Minx has a very sore bottom and this series of spankings probably the most severe she has ever had from me.

She certainly deserved a good spanking but she crossed the line and misbehaved durring the spanking, she wrote about it on her blog so I won't repeat it here but lets just say her mouth got out of control when she saw the bath brush.

Minx hates sting, so I made sure she got plenty very intense sting. What she doesn't get very often but she did get this time was that deeper muscle soreness that stays after the sting is gone.

As time goes by I love Minx more and more every day. Being someone who has paddled a number of naughty bottoms over the past couple of years, you would think it would get easier for me. The thing of it is it's actually getting pretty hard to spank Minx. It's one thing to do a GG spanking but when she needs a really good spanking it gets harder to do every time.

When You Don't Want a Spanking... You Really Need One

Tonight I slapped Minx's behind a few times and she yelled that she didn't want a spanking... That's when I knew without a doubt that she really needs a very, very good spanking.

Sometimes not having privacy is just an inconvenience, sometimes I think in our case it's too often the norm and the most insideous thing that we have fighting our relationship. Both ways by the way. We have and we can practice to a degree mutual LDD... When and if we can actually practice it... Not quite a "Spencer Plan", but there are times when I do find the need to know that Minx has in the past... and hopefully will in the future hold me accountable for certain things... Much to her regret sometimes I think, because I don't believe she get's as much out of that weird aspect as I would hope that she would. Weird shit I know, but who of us could claim to be 100% normal.

BUTT...
I digress...
Minx, when you wake tomorrow and find that finally... after a very long time... I've posted to my blog the important thing for you to know is that you will be getting a very, very memorable spanking. Yeah, I know... When? Well... whenever we can have the needed privacy. Might be sooner than you would expect so you should sit comfortable while you can my sweet woman that I love so much.

Mea Culpa

Kinda weird, yeah...

Well, Minx and I can't really always talk since there is the shift thing... So, dear reader... You are privy to see some first person communication between Minx and I !

We haven’t ironed out all of the specifics it will take quite some time I’m sure, but we do have a unique DD relationship since I happen to be a switch.

Sexuality can and does play into such relationships where it isn’t just one partner who could find themselves with a tender bottom. Yes, spanking in spite of the painful discipline aspect can be, and most certainly is an erotic experience. Giving control to someone you love is just one of those things… or having control taken by the one you love… same thing.

So, that means that Minx on many more than one occasion has managed to spank my bottom tender. No, she doesn’t have it down perfect yet, but she has gotten much, much more effective each time she has spanked me. If I have to crawl over her lap I do know for a fact that by the time it is over I will have a very hot sore bottom. In fact it’s gotten to the point where yes, sexually it is exciting to think that she can (and will) do it, but on the other hand it’s far some something that I would actually look forward too. Of course, she has had some of her best tutoring at me knee. She has learned how to spank very hard, very long and very effectively and we don’t really know what it is, perhaps a little bit of switch in her persona. Or, just the idea of being the wonderful submissive that she is, she is somehow getting into the roll and liking it as if I’m topping from the bottom. Butt, she is liking the idea of turning my bottom red and purple, perhaps a little too much.

Things have been a bit difficult for Minx and I for the past few weeks. I was sick, she had a business trip, privacy has been at a premium and this past week one of my sons broke a bone and needed surgery. So, it’s been hard to pay attention to one another and hard to have any time at all to ourselves.

Additionaly, it's not always easy for her to see how much she lights up my life when she walks in the room. You see, I've found my perfect love. How do I identify Minx as my perfect love? Two words, actually a name... Ronald Reagan. Yeah, I'm a Red State kind of guy and Ronny can in many ways be my hero. However it's the love of Nancy Reagan that I wish to speak about. Ronald Reagan was in the White House and his aide was at his side. Nancy came in to see him and they talked and kissed and she then left the room. Ronny watched her leave and then turned to his aide and said " She is the only person in the world who can make me feel lonely, just by leaving the room.". He was in love, really in love with Nancy. I always hoped I could find a woman like that. Praise te Lord and pass the amunition... that lady is Minx.

Well sorry to say, Minx it turns out has been pissed at me and getting more pissed by the day and the hour. Yeah, I’m a guy so at times I do bark a bit in spite of my best efforts to be patient and remain in control of my mood. Well, poor Minx, she hasn’t been taking it well. The result has been that she hasn’t felt that she could talk to me and she has thought that anytime I’m not happy and smiling it must be because I’m upset with her. Well that’s certainly not true. Still, I felt quite a bit guilty about it and of all things, she decided that I needed my bottom heated because of it. Ok, well… Yes Mam. I of course fell into super apologetic mode and became perfectly willing to jump over to my submissive side, because I must have caused this problem for this wonderful woman that I love so much.

Well, back to the scenario of not having the perfect time and privacy for each other. So, I told her that I would do something about it and make sure she could take care of things. We need more quiet implements. My once almost scary rattan cane broke to about a 20" stubby, perhaps a bit of a OTK cane but certainly not scary quiet welt maker. "Minx, we need some quiet devices. I’m going to make a Loopy Johnny so you can tear my poor guilty butt apart and turn it into red and purple Jell-O and me into a quivering mass of guilty remorse". Well I did say something like that, although perhaps I didn’t use those exact words but she got the idea and so do you.

So, I did it. I made a rather formidable loopy and quite frankly I have absolutely no desire to feel it’s bite on my poor bottom. I tried it on my thigh and it has no allure for my somewhat nervous ass. The handle has to be about 12 or 14" long and for the business end, I put the leftover from a bungee cord that unwillingly gave it’s life for this device. I did make sure that it would stay put, I taped the bungee to the end of the handle (which I notched for the cord) and then poured a bunch of super glue into the attachment to make sure that no matter how hard the little bugger ripped my quivering butt it could still survive and rip more butt. Oh, and then I found the remnants of an old fishing rod in the cellar and placed the two together on top of the dresser for her to use as best she saw fit. That effin fishing rod BTW is one wicked welt maker… We’re talking no sit for a week kind of thing.

So, all sorts of wicked tools are available at Minx’s hand for her to use on my poor doomed butt. What happened? Nothing. Yeah, and now I’ve decided that things have to go the other way… Minx is the one who needs to be spanked.

Here’s the thing. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was too short with her. Maybe I was just too insensitive for her needs. Well, I went almost an entire day of doing the Mea Culpa thing… Then, well… If and when you are wrong and you are willing to accept responsibility and consequences for any possible wrongdoing…. That’s wonderful. However, your Mea Culpa needs to be accepted and eventually you need to be forgiven.

That did not happen.

Imagine me, trying to be submissive (as best I can) an almost sometimes Dom that I am, and asking for forgiveness… and not getting it. Uh, hello… how do you spell mistake and where was it made?

Ok, that went on for a while… times up.

Well Miss Minx…

You had the chance to forgive me as I would do in a heart beat for you… Butt, since you did not… Now, I think maybe, you were playing it for whatever it was worth. I think that maybe you were wondering concisely or not just what this role thing might do for you and I think that to a degree you were playing it for what it was worth and wondering. Nope, PMS is not an excuse. We needed to rest our heads on the pillow with things resolved, and that didn’t happen. Now, I’ve jumped back and I’m in HOH mode.

I’m just a little upset little lady.

Real or imagined, whatever has kept you from feeling open to me and not able to talk to me has done some damage and I will NOT let our relationship be damaged. Our relationship won’t be damaged by me and not by you… and certainly not by some sort of wall that I’m more than capable of, and willing to make endless efforts to tear down.

You, young lady will be getting a toasty warm bottom, you will not now or ever take advantage of my willingness to accept that maybe I did something wrong, then play it against us. Ok, maybe you did not, maybe you did but didn’t know it would have these consequences so maybe the sound spanking that you will be getting isn’t really fair in your mind. Well, it can’t always be fair and you do know that. However one way or another I will put an end to it, when it is done everyone and everything will be forgiven, period.

For one reason more than any other,

I love you sweetie...

Well, yeah back to the concept that you readers will know this as soon or sooner than Minx sees it. Yeah, who knows how she will read this. Butt, by the times she reads this the alarm will have gone off, she will have had a cup of coffee... So, before she leaves for work she will either come back into the bedroom and throw her cup of coffee on me, or... give me a hug and tell me she loves me too.

I'm betting on the latter.

Oh, BTW little lady, submission and maintenance spankings are back on as soon as, and whenever I see fit that they are needed, period.

Oh, Considering the season....
Mary Kate Danerher...
Do you go for it?

Choosing Your Words

Lately it seems that anything and everything that could go wrong...is going wrong.

I have been arguing with my sister for a while now and yesterday being frustrated, I just wanted to give up, throw the towel in and just walk away.

Well….of course I verbalized “giving up” and got that the watch moved to the wrong wrist.

Sometimes it just seems easier to just give up but I know that I can’t. I know that in the end I will win, I will achieve what I have set out to do.

Today I was reminded that I can’t give up. Now I am sitting here typing this post with a very tender bottom.

I have a small problem with sass and it seems that most of my sass comes flowing freely when I am getting spanked.

Why that is I will never know!

You would think when you are OTK and being paddled that your words would be chosen very carefully. I was told that “I hope that I never have to spank you like this again.”

My reply….mind you that this was said in a sarcastic tone.

“Then stop spanking me!”

Honestly that was the wrong thing to say at the wrong time!

Yep, I still feel those four words.

The spanking I received today was one of the hardest ones I have gotten. That nasty wooden paddle with holes in it, OUCH! I was also spanked with that hairbrush paddle that seems to be a favorite...not mine of course.

But once again trouble has found me. Now you would think that having a very tender bottom you would make sure that you follow your rules and guidelines.

I am sure that once again I will find myself OTK sooner then I wanted.

Like maybe tonight again!

But...not me! That would be too easy...

I guesss I need to go confess now cause it is sure obvious!