I Miss You My Darling

In Memory of Ben 07/24/1955 to 06/11/2011


Hello Ben

It has been quite some time since I have seen you, spoken with you, listened when you spoke to me. I miss you so much it kills me inside. I decided to get out my emotions tonight and post them here on your/our blog.

We met here at this blog many years ago. I lived a few thousand miles away an I never thought I would get the chance to meet you. We chatted for hours and told each other our deepest secrets trusting one another. We also knew we would never meet. This was an online friendship, you became my best friend.

Then we met, it was love at first sight. I knew that first night I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You told me that is how you felt too. You asked me to marry you, become your wife. You told me just how much you cherished me. You promised me you would never leave me, that you would always be here for me.


I have been very angry since you left. I can not seem to pick the pieces of my life back up and put them together.

I wanted more time together with you, I needed more time together with you.

I miss you so much my darling..I am so very sorry you became ill. I tried my best to care for you. Then that devastating morning when you woke and I knew...

You left us too early..your sons miss you too.

Ben..I love you, you were 55, far too too young to have a massive stoke.
I was there with you when you took your last breath. For now this is all I can tell you my sweetheart. I am in tears, I Just Need You Now.....


I Love You Ben
You Woman the SassyMinx

Mainstream Spankos

Bogey and Becall at Our Bottoms Burn linked to a surprisingly well done article at Fox on Sex about spanking.

I remember some sort of survey a while bak that I quoted in a previous post about how worldwide 20% of consenting adults are spankos. However, in the US for some reason that number rises to something like 40%.

Can't help but wonder what makes the US so spanko-able.

Ok, I did it now.

I told Minx that she forgot...
Severa..."l weeks ago.. she called Top.

She got pissed at me, for good reason.
She forgot about it.

She said: "You wait till Friday, you're really going to get it...."

So, I've been waiting for that.

She called 'Top', and I do give her that authorithyto do so. Well, we will see if she actually takes advantage of  that.

Me?
Well I suspect that if she ever does realize how much authority I've given her... Then my butt is a gonner... but we will see...

Less Than a Day, Gotta Hurry

I was meaning to post a link to this a week or three ago and forgot all about it until I just saw AngelBrat's link to it. If you haven't put in an entry to Name This Paddle times-a-wastin' folks.

From all accounts John at Leatherthorn Paddles does some very nice work, although Santa hasn't left any under our tree yet.


Hopefully, one of my entries will be the Grand Prize winner for a free paddle, although in all honesty I'd rather hit PowerBall and order my own damn paddle!

Yeah, She Got Me Good... Damn Spoons

Ok...  I am HOH. However, I do agree to be submissive to Minx on a few items. I don't have a lot of rules, but there is no doubt that if I break a rule, I have to pay. Very simple, well I didn't know when or if I would pay actually.


Complications of lack of privacy mean that most of the time we can't just can't respond when it's needed in the way it's needed. however, that wasn't going to stop Minx.


It's true, I deserved a spanking. The odd thing is that for some silly reason I thought she wouldn't realize it, or if she did that she wouldn't act upon it... Silly (stupid) me !!!


Unfortunately, we've discovered a virtual cornucopia of implements that can cause excruciating pain yet shout little evidence of their use the silly quiet things tht they are.


The Cane.

The cane can be very wicked yet quiet, unfortunately Minx is learning how to use it more effectively every time she picks it up. Yes, she had me in the diaper position and she really needs to understand that such things are best for her to be in, not me.


Whereas the cane is pretty much right now pain, the DAMN wooden spoon that is too quiet to be noticed is something that Minx should not be allowed access to. Yes, she got me good and I was able to feel the result for two days.

Now since she hasn't been paying attention to spanking blogs for a while now, it could be a while before she knows. I just got another notice from my bank that yet again, I went into overdraft (and fees).  Well, she won't be happy about it that's for sure, but hopefully I'll have earned some brownie points by then. Hell, I washed the damn kitchen floor yesterday! That has to be good for some points... Right?

I love this woman.

Meeting People

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I stole this question from a forum, it's a good one.

She said:
I have been reading a lot lately about LDD. Fascinated by it really. I am currently unattached and single, and have been wondering if it is a lifestyle that I could function in and be happy in, without being resentful towards a future husband.

How you do or can form it with your future mate is best served by constant communication and the development of trust. When you can truly be your SO's friend and have trust, you will be able to talk and make anything that comes your way work, because you trust them..

IT seems that all (or at least most) LDD households are Christian, or at least church, based. I am curious if this is in fact the case, or it is a conclussion I have made.

LDD is just an abreviation for DD or D/s where the concept of Love is stressed. If you choose and want your DD life to be based on Christian principles, so be it as your choice. However, there is no 'member test', well if there is, it's on a curve and the curve adjusts to whatever YOU want it to be.

I am also curious as to how you started this relationship (LDD) at the outset. Did you start with a few rules, then add more later one, or was it all at once. I realize that the rules set by each couple vary and are determined by their needs and wants. I guess I'm asking for opinions as well as your experiences with it.

Yes, you understand. In our particular case we started with and basicly stick with matters of Attitude, Respect and Responsibility.

I believe that DD is and can and should be flexible enough that you can adapt it to whatever lifestyle you want and need.

Bingo Babe, you got it and understand !
***************************************************

My basic post on the subject which explains much of what I believe can be found at: http://ldd4me.blogspot.com/2006/07/how-to-tell-your-thick-headed-husband_04.html


The thing is, for me LDD is just D/s or DD or whatever you want it to e within a relationship where love is the foundation. In other words by my definition it does not have to be anything that you and your SO decide you don't want it to be, you don't have to match some arbitrary standard that has been estalished y someone else. YOU estalish the standard to which yuo live.


You roll your own, and your mileage may vary.

How My Kinky History Led to My Spanking Desires

Early in the days when I began my blog about three years ago, I posted my history and how I initially became interested in adult spanking. I wasn’t comfortable leaving all of the ‘dirty detail’ information on the blog at the time. I believed that my ‘kinky’ background might have been too much of a distraction from what was becoming my all-encompassing interest in domestic discipline. I didn’t want it distracting from my sincere desire to pursue a DD lifestyle and to promote the benefits. Basically, I didn’t want anyone thinking that just because I’m a kinky bastard I thought up some plan to legitimize my beliefs.

Backpedal a few decades and my journey into the world of kink and fetish was probably seeded in my experience growing up in the 50s and 60s. Not unlike many of those times, as a child I would often find myself face being held to the cold black and yellow bathroom tile floor with my ass propped high in the air. Natually, while my ass was being filled with warm soapy water. Squirming and fighting just got me the extra discomfort and humiliation as my bare ass was spanked for squirming.

No, it was not and should not be considered abuse. That doesn’t mean that I condone young boys being given enemas and spanked on the bare ass by their MILF mothers today, times have changed.

However during the 50s and 60s it was very common for mothers to give their little boys (or girls) an enema for many reasons. Everything from tummy-ache to being moody qualified for, if not required a physic. “Oh, Myrtle… If that’s the way he’s acting you better give him an enema. Everyone does need one now and again so it certainly can’t hurt”.

One thing for sure in those days, whenever you claimed in the morning that you were too sick to go to school you could count on getting a good inner ass cleaning with lots of warm water and ivory soap. The other possible outcome was a visit from the doctor and then you would likely get a nice sore bump in the buttocks from the doctors oversized penicillin injection. Doctors weren’t afraid of overusing antibiotics in those days you know. Worse case which was more likely, you would get a warm soapy enema and then the doctor would come to the house (they did that in those days) and still give you a painful injection in your poor overworked butt. It’s just the way things were done in those days.

Of course then I had to play and experiment on my own in those days, and actually often did. Yes, I’ll admit it; Mr. Happy and his needs became a big part of the action. You see men have a prostate and often any form of anal stimulation gives a little boost to… well you know.

Well I think I’ve explained it to a degree, the inner desire of being dominated and forced to take an enema by a woman was always in the back of my mind. Whenever I felt comfortable enough to mention it with a potential partner, the usual response was that the idea was at least distasteful if not "Oh, that's disgusting". Besindes, it's not something that's easy to bring up, it’s just not one of those things that you can use to start a conversation. In fact he topic usually ended conversation not being the sort of thing you should mention to people you meet in a convenience store or at the typical church social. Hence my reluctance to be open about it and also why I pulled the information from my blog.

Fast forward a few decades from my childhood, I had spent 20 years married to a woman who at first claimed to want to experiment with things of kink to add some spice. That turned out to be nothing more than a lie. My hopes of ever being open and active with her with that part of my persona were dashed by comments like "I don't know how people could do that..." whenever I hinted at things.

Ok, so why did I crave having a woman give me enemas? Particularly I craved being told I was getting an enema if I wanted it or not. In fact especially if I didn’t want one. It just didn't make sense since I had been told by people that claim to know these things that I was an obvious Dominant. Well, it could be that I can ‘Switch’ and just might enjoy every aspect of such a potential D/s experience. After being separated, I made up my mind that I would never again settle for anyone who wasn’t willing to explore whatever mutual fantasies we had without being judgmental. The obvious conclusion was that my childhood memories had awakened my aparent need to be a submissive.

Several girlfriends later, one night I was talking on the phone with the latest potential victim of my need for sexual relief. The thing was, I was doing laundry. You see at that time I was Mr. Mom and doing laundry was just one of those chores that I had a tendency to put off. The incentive that I gave myself to do laundry was simple; I would permit myself a martini per load of wash. After several loads of wash it was not uncommon for me to wake up and wonder what happened to my clothes. Not an uncommon side effect of martini consumption I understand, but I digress.

Well, feeling loose tongued and not really giving a shit if I scared her off… I dropped the big one and told her that I had always had a kinky interest in being given enemas. I fully expected to hear a click on the other end of the phone line. Nope, she told me it was one of her favorite activities. Actually I should have known, she’s an RN and there’s no doubt about it, RNs are kinky. Let the games begin!

The RN adventure was certainly interesting, neither one of us were really sure if we were Dom, sub or Switch so we played every which way we could trying to find out with "Screw the Roses, Bring Me The Thorns". One of the other activities that we explored was spanking. That’s when I found out that I really do enjoy having a woman laying over my lap getting a good sound spanking. That was also when I found out that I don’t enjoy getting a spanking quite as much as I enjoying giving one. There’s that certain aspect about getting a spanking that always comes up just after going over a knee. When the first fews smacks land then all of a sudden the brain feels the sting, instantly you wonder why you ever thought you enjoyed being spanked.

Once I had this new adult spanking experience it became all I could think of and I wanted more. Naturally I started searching the Internet for as much spanking information as I could find. When I found ‘Fondly and Firmly” I had an epiphany. Immediately I realized that the reason my marriage had failed was because I never gave X the thing that she needed most, a good spanking.

Having discovered the world of Domestic Discipline I joined a few groups and forums and before long I was IMing with a woman who lived a few states away who had the same sort of desires. We spent hours on the phone and became pretty close and shared our thoughts on how Domestic Discipline could or should work. Just as with the RN she shared a kinky enema thing so naturally conversation became even easier for us. With her help I decided to put my DD thoughts to the Internet and created my “How to Tell Your Thick Headed Hubby” blog post. She was an accomplished blogger at the time and encouraged me. Since, she has had some very difficult times and her blog is long gone.

The primary direction for the essay was ‘for a guy, from a guy’ since it appeared from many of the DD and general spanking forum posts that I read, women found it difficult to vocalize to their boyfriends or husbands just what it was that they wanted.

My blog post began to get some attention and it wasn’t long before I received a few comments from women who said that they printed out my “Thick Headed Hubby” essay and it made it easier to convince their husbands just what they really wanted and needed.

There it is!

That's how I began blogging about Domestic Discipline. Naturally several days ago when Minx spanked me and then slipped a Fleet enema into my ass, I began thinking about all of these things again and I decided to get over it, and re-post my background for my readers to know.

The Kitten Complications

If you have a blog here with Google Blogger and you have content that is less than vanilla save yourself some trouble and turn on the adult "Content Warning" page in your settings.

Complicated Kitten was locked out of her blog and now has a new blog started that can be found here. at http://acomplicatedkittensjourney.blogspot.com/



It certainly would be nice if the Adult Content Warning would store a cookie and once I answered yes it would remember for all of the other blogs I visit.

Loving Domestic Discipline v 3

(This is an update of one of my first blog posts. The 3rd time I've added to it, so the v3)

The thought of a DD or Loving Domestic Discipline relationship has captured me. I've come to the conclusion that I will never again settle for anything less in a relationship. It's what I seek, it's what I crave and the only way I will ever have the perfect love and now it's what I've found.

I'm certainly not the only person with this opinion, in fact I'm more amazed every day as I find out about more and more people who are "de-lurking" and "coming out".

I read a number of blogs about DD on a regular basis and some message boards such as Spanking Classics Story Board and on a regular basis there are a number of people who sign on and say they've been reading for some time (lurking) and they've finally decided to join the board and take part in the discussion. Some say they have just started, or wish they could start a DD relationship with their spouse. Additionally there are people who sign on and say they and their spouse have been practicing a DD relationship for years. Who ever knew.

What has the concept of LDD done for me?
I would have to say that Domestic Discipline has had a tremendous impact on my life. Most of all I'm totally amazed at how natural it all seems. Also, I have to admit that because it never was a part of my life, I never did understand the women in my life and what was missing from our relationships. It has taught me what was missing from my marriage, and why it failed. It has taught me that the emotions that so fill a woman’s soul, the things that define her femininity are the hardest things that she deals with, and sometimes she just needs a release. She needs her man, to be a man.

The primary desire most people have for a Domestic Discipline relationship is to form a stronger bond. To fill a void that they've felt in their life. There is no doubt that the modern concept of marriage leaves spouses who are often at odds with one another. Discussions can become disputes that lead to hours if not days of silent treatments and door slamming. Anger, resentment left unrelieved turn to a difficult to prevent pain that eats at the core of the couples union. Mutual respect drains and it becomes not just possible but also easy to hate someone you wanted to still love. Naturally the result often leads to divorce.

I never tried, I knew no better. I never understood that when a woman told me what was on her mind, she didn't want me to think of an instant solution (a guy reaction) for what was bothering her... She just wanted me to just listen and understand why things bothered her and what they meant to her. It has taught me that the emotions that so fill a woman’s soul, the things that define her femininity are the hardest things that she deals with, and sometimes she just needs a release. She needs a man to be a man.

Sometimes a woman needs a man to take matters in hand, guiding her and telling her that everything will be alright. That nothing is impossible, nothing is insurmountable when their souls merge, the tenderness and connection of aftercare... Nothing else can make a woman know a man will do whatever he has to do, to cherish and protect her and nothing less makes a man feel so much like a man.

Burns My Ass

I'm perfectly willing to believe that there are a lot of conspiracies that go on in the world. Certainly a lot by governments and by industries and of course individuals who seek whatever they need or desire. Some of course say it was a gubment conspiracy, some perhaps figure 'dubya' did it. Perhaps some believe it all happened in a desert somewhere, the same place they filmed the fake moon landing.

But I don't care!

Almost 3,000 people died in a disaster eight years ago, innocent people. Not just Americans but people from something like 11 different nations. Yet there are people who for one reason or another refuse to recognize the significance of that event.

I remember where I was and what I was doing. Having earned a pilots license long ago I found myself answering numerous questions by others who were confused, not that I wasn't.


So, what burns my ass about all of this?

Where's Google?

Google will make all sorts of special pages to remember, celebrate of bring significance to all sorts of events. They make note of obscure authors, poets, artists, holidays like St. Patty's Day with drunken leperchauns... and just about anything you can imagine.

But not today and not last year either that I recall.

Why?

“There, now you’ll be able to enjoy your sore bottom on a nice hard seat for a while”

Being the typical non-typical DD couple things can get interesting around here sometimes. Of course we have the same problem that a lot of couples have, an almost perpetual lack of privacy. We might have changed that slightly, time will tell…

Today was the first day of a new schedule where I think I’ve managed to get things coordinated so that we actually have at least an hour and perhaps as much as two hours or privacy per day.

Well, we did have some privacy over the weekend and it did give me the chance to give Minx a pretty good spanking. She has needed a spanking for a while. Not so much for anything other than stress relief and just to reinforcing discipline a bit, she has been very good.

Minx also had the chance to try to spank me, but that didn’t go too well being the wimp that I am. I chickened out part way into it and got away from her which of course pissed her off a bit. It’s not easy for Minx to spank me; it’s just not her thing. Minx is much more comfortable being the spankee but she does try to cater to my cravings on occasion and if the need should happen to arrive, she has no problem at all giving me a punishment spanking. However, when I need a stress relief spanking, it’s not at all easy for her. There’s that role reversal thing, but also I’m much harder to hold in position when I start squirming and kicking as happened over the weekend.

Well, today our private time came to fruition and I had every intention to rebuild Minx’s leather butt. Since it’s been a while since she’s had regular spankings the spanking she got over the weekend was difficult for her re-virigned bottom. Being the caring HOH that I am, I planned on putting some regularity back into her spankings so it would be easier for her to take a good long spanking. You spankos out there know what I mean, if it’s been a while, it takes a while before you build up ‘leather butt’ tolerance again. Well, that was not to be.

I walked into the house and asked her if she was ready to get her leather butt rebuilt… however she said, “No, it’s your turn”.

Well, I hadn’t been too cooperative when she tried to spank me over the weekend so I suppose I knew it was coming so of course I complied. Minx told me to go pick out some implements…. Don’t you hate that?

I opened the toy drawer and looked, I knew that I would not be able to get away with a wimpy selection so I didn't try. I picked out the wicked hairbrush paddle, the sawed off bamboo bath brush, the Reb's OTK paddle with holes and the The London Tanners Domestic Discipline Strap. Minx approved, I knew I didn’t have much of a choice but to pick the ones that I hate since I hadn’t been cooperative for the last spanking.

Minx gave the quick simple order… “Drop ‘em”. I did.

There’s something that’s both intimidating and exciting about standing there with your pants at your ankle while your lady is picking up a paddle. Naturally, Mr. Happy was doing his best to embarrass me standing at full attention which of course Minx made some comments along the lines of ‘looks like he wants a spanking too’ and made some light contact.

When I first climbed over her knee, Mr. Happy was making things a little uncomfortable before he was properly positioned. Minx started with her bare hand, which felt, very comfortable and relaxing. Of course her bare hand didn’t last long enough, the sting had been light and actually somewhat comforting. Mr, Happy didn't stay around to find out though.

When I’m on the receiving end once the spanking starts I usually can’t tell what I’m being spanked with unless she tells me. She did a very good job of keeping me just slightly beyond the edge of what I can tolerate. You know, any lighter and you can take it, but just hard enough to keep you from ignoring it while you squirm and stress and have to work at staying in place. Then of course it had to happen, time to pay for not cooperating for the last spanking. Those hard heavy spanks that make you dig your fingernails into your palms and stress to stay in place.

I believe that the next round was from the Rebs OTK paddle and she kept me right on the edge with it. Then a few rounds with the DD strap and and paddles again. It was really getting hard to stay in place but I didn't want any more hard heavy full swing ones.

In between rounds of implements Minx rubs and comforts for a few seconds (always too few) which of course is wonderful. Then after a particularly hard to take round with what I think was the Bamboo Bath Brush she was rubbing my bottom and next I felt her spread my cheeks. I felt something slide into my ass and I realized what she was doing, Minx was giving me a Fleet enema.

“There, now you’ll be able to enjoy your sore bottom on a nice hard seat for a while”

She said it with a little bit of a happy accomplished tone. That wasn’t the end of it of course, but it was the end of the unbearable pain from that point on as I had another thing to keep my mind occupied. The combination of the spanking that so far I had endured along with that bit of anal stimulation and caress just made the sting disapear and all of me was enjoying the continued contact.

Minx continued to spank and she spanked hard but from that point on ,I just wanted more. She asked me a couple of times if I had to go yet, I could have but I didn't want to, I wanted to feel more and put off going to expell as long as I could.

Odd isn't it.

Now, I’m probably more relaxed than I’ve been in a while, maybe tomorrow will be her turn.