Mea Culpa

Kinda weird, yeah...

Well, Minx and I can't really always talk since there is the shift thing... So, dear reader... You are privy to see some first person communication between Minx and I !

We haven’t ironed out all of the specifics it will take quite some time I’m sure, but we do have a unique DD relationship since I happen to be a switch.

Sexuality can and does play into such relationships where it isn’t just one partner who could find themselves with a tender bottom. Yes, spanking in spite of the painful discipline aspect can be, and most certainly is an erotic experience. Giving control to someone you love is just one of those things… or having control taken by the one you love… same thing.

So, that means that Minx on many more than one occasion has managed to spank my bottom tender. No, she doesn’t have it down perfect yet, but she has gotten much, much more effective each time she has spanked me. If I have to crawl over her lap I do know for a fact that by the time it is over I will have a very hot sore bottom. In fact it’s gotten to the point where yes, sexually it is exciting to think that she can (and will) do it, but on the other hand it’s far some something that I would actually look forward too. Of course, she has had some of her best tutoring at me knee. She has learned how to spank very hard, very long and very effectively and we don’t really know what it is, perhaps a little bit of switch in her persona. Or, just the idea of being the wonderful submissive that she is, she is somehow getting into the roll and liking it as if I’m topping from the bottom. Butt, she is liking the idea of turning my bottom red and purple, perhaps a little too much.

Things have been a bit difficult for Minx and I for the past few weeks. I was sick, she had a business trip, privacy has been at a premium and this past week one of my sons broke a bone and needed surgery. So, it’s been hard to pay attention to one another and hard to have any time at all to ourselves.

Additionaly, it's not always easy for her to see how much she lights up my life when she walks in the room. You see, I've found my perfect love. How do I identify Minx as my perfect love? Two words, actually a name... Ronald Reagan. Yeah, I'm a Red State kind of guy and Ronny can in many ways be my hero. However it's the love of Nancy Reagan that I wish to speak about. Ronald Reagan was in the White House and his aide was at his side. Nancy came in to see him and they talked and kissed and she then left the room. Ronny watched her leave and then turned to his aide and said " She is the only person in the world who can make me feel lonely, just by leaving the room.". He was in love, really in love with Nancy. I always hoped I could find a woman like that. Praise te Lord and pass the amunition... that lady is Minx.

Well sorry to say, Minx it turns out has been pissed at me and getting more pissed by the day and the hour. Yeah, I’m a guy so at times I do bark a bit in spite of my best efforts to be patient and remain in control of my mood. Well, poor Minx, she hasn’t been taking it well. The result has been that she hasn’t felt that she could talk to me and she has thought that anytime I’m not happy and smiling it must be because I’m upset with her. Well that’s certainly not true. Still, I felt quite a bit guilty about it and of all things, she decided that I needed my bottom heated because of it. Ok, well… Yes Mam. I of course fell into super apologetic mode and became perfectly willing to jump over to my submissive side, because I must have caused this problem for this wonderful woman that I love so much.

Well, back to the scenario of not having the perfect time and privacy for each other. So, I told her that I would do something about it and make sure she could take care of things. We need more quiet implements. My once almost scary rattan cane broke to about a 20" stubby, perhaps a bit of a OTK cane but certainly not scary quiet welt maker. "Minx, we need some quiet devices. I’m going to make a Loopy Johnny so you can tear my poor guilty butt apart and turn it into red and purple Jell-O and me into a quivering mass of guilty remorse". Well I did say something like that, although perhaps I didn’t use those exact words but she got the idea and so do you.

So, I did it. I made a rather formidable loopy and quite frankly I have absolutely no desire to feel it’s bite on my poor bottom. I tried it on my thigh and it has no allure for my somewhat nervous ass. The handle has to be about 12 or 14" long and for the business end, I put the leftover from a bungee cord that unwillingly gave it’s life for this device. I did make sure that it would stay put, I taped the bungee to the end of the handle (which I notched for the cord) and then poured a bunch of super glue into the attachment to make sure that no matter how hard the little bugger ripped my quivering butt it could still survive and rip more butt. Oh, and then I found the remnants of an old fishing rod in the cellar and placed the two together on top of the dresser for her to use as best she saw fit. That effin fishing rod BTW is one wicked welt maker… We’re talking no sit for a week kind of thing.

So, all sorts of wicked tools are available at Minx’s hand for her to use on my poor doomed butt. What happened? Nothing. Yeah, and now I’ve decided that things have to go the other way… Minx is the one who needs to be spanked.

Here’s the thing. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was too short with her. Maybe I was just too insensitive for her needs. Well, I went almost an entire day of doing the Mea Culpa thing… Then, well… If and when you are wrong and you are willing to accept responsibility and consequences for any possible wrongdoing…. That’s wonderful. However, your Mea Culpa needs to be accepted and eventually you need to be forgiven.

That did not happen.

Imagine me, trying to be submissive (as best I can) an almost sometimes Dom that I am, and asking for forgiveness… and not getting it. Uh, hello… how do you spell mistake and where was it made?

Ok, that went on for a while… times up.

Well Miss Minx…

You had the chance to forgive me as I would do in a heart beat for you… Butt, since you did not… Now, I think maybe, you were playing it for whatever it was worth. I think that maybe you were wondering concisely or not just what this role thing might do for you and I think that to a degree you were playing it for what it was worth and wondering. Nope, PMS is not an excuse. We needed to rest our heads on the pillow with things resolved, and that didn’t happen. Now, I’ve jumped back and I’m in HOH mode.

I’m just a little upset little lady.

Real or imagined, whatever has kept you from feeling open to me and not able to talk to me has done some damage and I will NOT let our relationship be damaged. Our relationship won’t be damaged by me and not by you… and certainly not by some sort of wall that I’m more than capable of, and willing to make endless efforts to tear down.

You, young lady will be getting a toasty warm bottom, you will not now or ever take advantage of my willingness to accept that maybe I did something wrong, then play it against us. Ok, maybe you did not, maybe you did but didn’t know it would have these consequences so maybe the sound spanking that you will be getting isn’t really fair in your mind. Well, it can’t always be fair and you do know that. However one way or another I will put an end to it, when it is done everyone and everything will be forgiven, period.

For one reason more than any other,

I love you sweetie...

Well, yeah back to the concept that you readers will know this as soon or sooner than Minx sees it. Yeah, who knows how she will read this. Butt, by the times she reads this the alarm will have gone off, she will have had a cup of coffee... So, before she leaves for work she will either come back into the bedroom and throw her cup of coffee on me, or... give me a hug and tell me she loves me too.

I'm betting on the latter.

Oh, BTW little lady, submission and maintenance spankings are back on as soon as, and whenever I see fit that they are needed, period.

Oh, Considering the season....
Mary Kate Danerher...
Do you go for it?

Belt and Hairbrush

Time and again when reading spanking oriented blogs or posts on spanking forums I'm amazed by the significance and the power of the belt. Simple device that it may be, somehow it has some sort of mystical power over so many women, perhaps some sort of symbol of masculine power. It would seem that many women have such a strong reaction, the butterflies in the tummy, the tinlge that runs up the spine and all from just the sight of the belt being removed or even more powerfully the sound of the belt being pulled from the pant loops. The sound can clear a brain in turmoil and stop all other distractions and it commands complete attenion.

Perhaps it's the sense of immediatecy, things will be dealt with now, right now and there is no point in trying to talk your way out. "Young lady, talk is over. Your bottom is going to be getting real hot and red right now and that's all there is to it". Conversely, for men who are spanked the sight of a woman with a stern posture holding a hairbrush has a similar powerful visual impact.

(art found at spanked hubby)

Perhaps it's the anticipation, perhaps it's knowing that there is no escape and the activity that is about to play out on one's bottom is inevitable. Whatever the trigger, the power of these sights and sounds is far more powerful than the sting and burn.

What do you think about when you see and hear these symbols? Do they get your attention unlike anything else?

Flying Fans the Fanny

Well, just got back from the airport. Up at 03:30 this AM to take Minx to the airport, she's off on a business trip this week. Flying off to warm weather, and of course she's flying with a warm bottom. Not the most comfortable ride on a airline seat... yeah, she'll be in that seat for most of the day.

We finally had the opportunity to deal with the speeding issue the day before yesterday. I'm sure she will be remembering it for a while. We did a GG spanking last night and I'm sure that I managed toapply some fresh heat to her still tender tushie. She mentioned that the fire ants were attacking her cheeks when she sits certain ways.

Bonnie from MBS linked to Minx's blog yesterday, so I'm sure she'll be getting a lot more visitors now. The number of visitors to this blog have gone way down since I checked the "adult content" box on the blogger settings page. Now when someone comes to this page they get the "are you sure you want ot see this stuff" page. Antoher draw back is that I can no longer see what site refered the visitor. I do like to link to site that link here but now I can't see them, this is a 'Blogger' page and I don't see the raw logs since it's not "my" site. Kind of a bummer, but after the wiki art site went down I don't want to give anyone a reason to take this blog down.

Poor Minx won't have a PC all week while she's away, some scum stole the RAM chip out of her laptop so it's out of commision until we can replace it. Unless we hit powerball that won't be for a few weeks yet.

Derailed

When things appear to be progressing just so well, watch out. That's when life will slap you in the face with a cold dead fish and yells "Surprise!"

Minx and I have had a tough week or so, she fell and hurt her back and then I managed to come down with a wicked case of the flu or something. Really interesting... just when I started to get used to some of the symptoms... they would change or get worse.

The hardest part for Minx has to have been discovering how miserable and how much of a turtle I am whenever I'm sick, just leave me alone in my shell. I think it may have something to do with the way I hate self pity and how I especially hate it in myself, hence I just want to be left alone to bask in my misery. Well, I'm finally starting to feel like a human being again so hopefully I'm done with my sick time... for the year I hope. I'm certainly anxious to get back on track and I know Minx is too, soon I think but it can't be soon enough.

Minx wrote on her blog about the incident with the speeding that she knows she'll be getting a very memorble spanking for. It's one of those things that we've talked about before and now I have to be extra certain that we don't have to talk about it again. Often the worst part of knowing that a severe spanking is on the way, is the waiting and this time the wait has been extra long. It's also been a time when we can't be very close in the touchy feely way. The hugs have been weak because of sore backs and the kisses have been missing to avoid sharing germs.

Minx has been a very good girl through all of this and I'm sure that she would like to ask me if she can get a good girl spanking instead of the punishment spanking. Well, yes dear. You have certainly earned a special good girl spanking... too.

Buns of Steel?

I would rather be curled up in the blankets right now but I have been ordered to write this post. I am so exhausted, cold, and feel very contrite.

I knew I had blown it again…how many times now...have we talked about this rule of five cups of coffee a day? No More!

I can’t remember to be honest but I will remember tonight!

I already knew I blew it, I already knew I disappointed him again.

In knowing that made me feel somewhat bad, but I really had no idea just how bad until I turned around from standing in the corner and saw the mound of pillows and then I truly knew just how much I had disappointed him.

I just knew that the belt was coming off and was going to meeting my bottom with a searing heat. And that it did!

Each and every lash took my breath away. I was made to count the last six and that was very hard too do.

Then came the paddle...I can’t believe how bad that hurt. I knew in my heart I deserved what I was getting. I tried my hardest to stay put and not cover my bottom.

I must be honest and say…I have never felt as punished as I did tonight.

Being put to bed after my punishment really had an impact on me, he made his point and it came across very clear to me. I am a very stubborn woman and I am used to getting my own way. Seriously here, I realize know that I will not get my way on this.

BUT….honestly…my bottom is not made of steel!!!!!

I give up…you win…..NO MORE then 5 cups of coffee!

I Promise…I Love You and I am sorry

One Coffee... Or One Spanking?

While I type this Minx is under the covers, I just finished making sure that she would be warm and toasty. It would have been an AAAC (Avoid at All Cost) spanking since we've talked about this too many times before, but she did confess. However, I do think it should have been sooner.

Someone, has a 5 cup max of coffee per day. Considering the doctor would probably have a bird if she knew Minx was even having one... Well, I think the starting limit of 5 cups is reasonable, much better than the 10 or more cups per day before the rule.

However I do expect the rule to be obeyed, Minx does know that, I just reminded her.

I would rather be giving her tender aftercare right now, that will have to wait. I don't want to have to talk about this with her again and I really want her to know that. I don't want...

No, I will not let her endanger her health.

I can't imagine life without her.

Is One Enough?

You would think that after you have had your bottom thoroughly spanked and paddled that you would behave.

Me? Behave? Hmmmmmm

Well better to confess then to have him find out later.

I bought a cup of coffee that I knew I really should not be having.

I thought many thoughts as I was driving down the road with it in my hand.

Guilty, yes I did feel guilty.

Then to my surprise the cup sprung a leak and I am wearing a lot of the coffee that I should not have bought.

The rest of it is all over the side of my car.

Talk about getting caught red handed!

Guess I better go confess now.

Choosing Your Words

Lately it seems that anything and everything that could go wrong...is going wrong.

I have been arguing with my sister for a while now and yesterday being frustrated, I just wanted to give up, throw the towel in and just walk away.

Well….of course I verbalized “giving up” and got that the watch moved to the wrong wrist.

Sometimes it just seems easier to just give up but I know that I can’t. I know that in the end I will win, I will achieve what I have set out to do.

Today I was reminded that I can’t give up. Now I am sitting here typing this post with a very tender bottom.

I have a small problem with sass and it seems that most of my sass comes flowing freely when I am getting spanked.

Why that is I will never know!

You would think when you are OTK and being paddled that your words would be chosen very carefully. I was told that “I hope that I never have to spank you like this again.”

My reply….mind you that this was said in a sarcastic tone.

“Then stop spanking me!”

Honestly that was the wrong thing to say at the wrong time!

Yep, I still feel those four words.

The spanking I received today was one of the hardest ones I have gotten. That nasty wooden paddle with holes in it, OUCH! I was also spanked with that hairbrush paddle that seems to be a favorite...not mine of course.

But once again trouble has found me. Now you would think that having a very tender bottom you would make sure that you follow your rules and guidelines.

I am sure that once again I will find myself OTK sooner then I wanted.

Like maybe tonight again!

But...not me! That would be too easy...

I guesss I need to go confess now cause it is sure obvious!

Wrong Wrist

When a couple integrates LDD into their relationship it's virtually impossible to always take care of matters right away. Sometimes things just have to be postponed. There may be a previous engagement that can't be cancelled, or more likely the lack of privacy.

For as long as I can remember the first thing I do before doing anything strenuous is to take my watch off of my wrist and put it in my pocket or onto my other wrist, upside down. I've always been a watch on the left wrist kind of guy; of course the fact that I'm left handed makes that impossible at times. Obviously, a good spanking from my leaft hand would be too much even for my John Cameron Swayze.

The way I've decided to remember and to issue the promise of the spanking that is due is to use the simple symbol that will be obvious to Minx, actually so that both she and I will remember. I do hate having my watch upside down on the wrong wrist. However, it can't go back to my left wrist until matters have been dealt with.

So, when something has to be addressed that means Minx will be over my knee I've been moving my watch to the wrong side. I hate it there so I'll be looking for the first opportunity to move it back. That won't happen until Minx's bottom has been heated. Naturally, she hates seeing it there too knowing what it means will be happening to her poor bottom. Whenever the activity is over, I will move it back where hopefully it can stay for a while.

Right now my watch is on the wrong wrist. Minx made a little, very little, attempt of talking me into putting the watch back where it belongs and "...let's forget it this time". Simple question right back at her, "Would you really want it to be something that you could ever talk me out of?"

Naturally, her answer is no

The first time that I ever spanked Minx was a bit awkward. You see we are not very "public", no one in our real lives can know. Well, my middle son was on the way home. He knew that Minx was here and when I asked him to call me before he came home I'm sure he just thought that I didn't want to be surprised by him walking in on some sort of sexual action. Little did he know that Minx needed... and wanted a spanking. I was willing to oblige.

We've talked about it numerous times since then, it was very intense for Minx so we've tried to understand why. Pretty much your eveyday run of the mill spanking in most ways. I started her spanking bare hand OTK. She had been in the corner and I had been scolding her because of some of the things that I knew had been going on. Hmmm... her temper, some anger, some issues at work... patience with her family. Well, we had a lot to talk about and I actually did the talking with the contact of my hand.

Minx was squirming a lot... I knew she had to be thinking "Oh S***!, If this is what his hand feels like the paddle is really going to be wicked!!!" Well, it was :)
Naturally and thankfully, we managed to time an intermission for when my son came home. Well, he's old enough to die for his country and old enough to choose his own evening activities and was right back out the door after a shower, ah the freedom of youth.it's wasted on the young.

When we alone again, we continued. We had been doing a lot of talking and at the appropriate time I told Minx to get back to the corner (not really a corner but close enough). She hesitated. I should never have to give an instruction twice, especially during a punishment. Yup, immediately after her corner time her hands were on the couch, dress up, pantyhose and then panties tugged down... and then she heard my belt coming out of my pant loops. You know, then and everytime since then... Well, there's just something magical about that sound that says "There will no BS, we're dealing with this now!!!"

We both believe that the panyhose she was wearing really, really held the heat in and enhanced the sensation. In any event when the hairbrush paddle came out to find her bare bottom it didn't take long before I could sense her surrender... the first time her walls started to fall.

The absolute most exciting part of a spanking is the tenderness of aftercare. I'm not new to spanking, I've toasted a few butts before. This time things were different, I didn't just feel the intensity of her hugs after the spanking was over, this time it seamed like we melted together into one being. It's been that way with her ever since too.
Anything and everything has come out with this sweet wonderful woman. She has the key to my heart. God, I love this woman, why did it take so long for her to find me :)

Three Weeks, Four Days

Sort of a whirl-wind thing. We've known each other for about a year and a half but we never met in person before earlier this month, three weeks and four days ago. Minx and I have been friends since we first read each other's blogs. Neither one of us ever thought anything would come of it we were just too far away, well at least I didn't. Now, the truth recently came out! Minx told me that when she first read this blog she wanted to get to meet me. Well, does she always get what she wants?

It is such a wonderful feeling being in love, it feels so new and exciting. Yes, I'm off the market, my heart is now spoken for. I've asked Minx to marry me and she has said YES!!!

Well I went searching the web for Valentine's Day kind of clip art and this is what I found. Now, considering the way my mind works, I'm sure that what they are doing is opening the box that has the new paddle inside.

It Gets Weird

Ok, so this is both really weird and really wonderful. All of a sudden I feel like some sort of silly teenager. It’s been all of 72 hours since my sweetie was in my arms and for some damn reason it feels like forever. I miss her too much already. I don’t know when we’ll be together again but I do know it won’t be soon enough.

Yes, I know she’s going to read this. Yes, I know she’s going to realize that somehow I must be head over heels for her and acting like some sort of immature teen… Well, I am. Yes it’s true, I’m seriously thinking of running outside and carving her and my initials in a tree with my pocketknife but I would rather wait and do it when she is here. The amazing thing is that I’ve never experienced this giddy happy feeling before, not with anyone else that I’ve met… Not even with the woman that I was married to for twenty years. I don’t believe I’m wrong, somehow I know she feels the same way.

It really was such a surprise, I never thought I would ever meet this wonderful woman let alone become enamoured with her. We’ve known each other ever since I first started bloging about a year and a half ago. But, she was far away and all we ever did was IM back and forth about each of our experiences and befriend one another, and now that has changed. She moved cross-country and now she is within driving distance and the unimaginable has turned into reality.

Yes, she knows and fully accepts some of the wants and desires that have been in my warped head for so many years. We won’t have any problem at all establishing a wonderful relationship including the aspects of Loving Domestic Discipline that we both determine are right for us.

So, how long has this wild crazy relationship been going on? Well, it’s been all of ten days. Yeah I know… You’re all thinking get serious you old fart. Stop acting like a kid and remember you’re at mid life ( if I live to be 104 ).

What’s really weird is that I’ve never before hesitated to describe an encounter either here or on my Yahoo 360 blog in explicit details. Yes, I’ve told all in one way or another. Sometimes with specific details, sometimes with bits and pieces buried into a story here or there. So has she, she blogs too and just like me has put all of her thoughts on the web in an attempt to scream from a mountain top in the most modern way. But now it’s different, yes I want to tell the world but at the same time all of a sudden I think it’s not really anyone else’s business about some of my thoughts.

Yeah, I know… Eventually I will, but for now my thoughts only belong to her.

Please be happy for me :)